Oct 10, · When you "live for the weekend," a Monday is the door shutting on your 48 hours of freedom--and that's a pretty strong indicator you are living double lives. Oct 12, · Have gratitude for what you "hate" about Mondays Now that your body is calming down, take a moment to explore what triggered the thought around "hating" Monday and invoke compassion for yourself Now, you have just learned a new awareness for yourself. Mar 17, · The next video is starting stop. Loading Watch Queue.
I hate you for being a mirror that reflects my weakness back on myself. I hate you for somehow sticking around in the periphery of my life and I despise myself for encouraging it. Ari grieves the loss of her sister deeply, yet she resists visiting the island resort where traumatic memories are repressed. This gripping tale by prolific horror novelist, Holly Riordan, will keep you on the edge of your seat! Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Jake Melara I hate you. The heart wants what it wants, and mine is exceptionally wayward. I hate you for being the kind of person I could see myself loving, yet someone who will never let me. No one is suggesting she change anything other than her outlook. I live in a large town and would never live in a big city long term more than a few years but I love to visit.
When I did live in a big city when I was younger I did exactly what everyone else has suggested- I love food so I took advantage of the variety of restaurants, I went to free museums, I found awesome bookstores that had more stuff than back home, I went to awesome parks for a jog.
And most cities has neighborhoods that are LIKE a small town in their feel. Maracuya June 27,pm. I moved to a big city and I found not only people who were interested in what I were, but who were from all over. It gets lonely sometimes and there are pluses and minuses to the city, but I like my new friends. This is a crazy city person.
Look at that crazy city bastard; living in a row-house next to… and ew is that a condo-apartment and a sidewalk? The crazy city person can see his crazy neighbor.
These city people are just stupid. They talk to each other. Ride the trains to and from work or drive their stupid little FourTwo Smart cars and eat OMG is that a restaurant with tables on the sidewalk?
OMG is that a museum and ew… parallel parking…. TheOtherMe June 29,pm. You all are getting a little up-in-arms about one word! It was probably just an off-hand comment. Chill, people! BoomChakaLaka June 27,pm. LW, if there is nothing else you should take from this letter, it should be this piece above. Make better use of your time to make yourself happy. Try to make that a ritual instead of a once-in-a-blue-moon activity.
Also, try to visit your friends and family more often of course, if work permits, with your husband. They might be able to re-fuel you so you can face the situation you are currently facing. Samantha June 27,pm. Wendy, your advice is right on. I moved to a big city after college, two years before my friends would graduate. Happiness is definitely a choice. LW, when meeting people becomes difficult, try outdoor activities that you can do solo. Sunshine is the best mood-lifter, and physical activity is a close second.
Since it was before my 21st birthday, going out was difficult, after my big move I took up hiking. It was amazing the people I met just being on the trails at a regular time every day. Plus, it helped me stave off sadness weight and kept me from comfort-eating. Volunteering is also fantastic, especially if there are causes you are passionate about.
It will allow you to meet people who are obviously not self-absorbed. As far as driving, learn the bus system! Wendy is right that happiness is a choice. A bit of Buddhist wisdom I try to keep on the top of my mind at all times:. BecBoo84 June 27,pm.
Wendy, you gave the LW the tough love she so desperately needed! Alot of these comments are really harsh towards LW. I think LW needs to see her doctor. If not a doctor, definitely some type of counselor.
Mary June 27,pm. Just a few years ago, I was in very similar shoes, LW. Less than a year after our wedding, my husband got a job in a town that was a 2 day drive away from my friends, family, and everyone I knew. I felt so painfully lonely. Like you, LW, I occasionally daydreamed of moving back home, but in reality I knew I could not abandon my husband like that. My marriage vows meant a lot to me in good times AND bad, right? But at the same time, I felt that someone had hit the pause button on my life.
I was miserable for many many months and, like you, I gained a good deal of weight, too. Here are the steps that helped me. I picked up the local free alt-weekly newspaper. Every metropolitan area has one of these. You can usually find them at restaurants and locally owned shops.
These free weekly papers usually focus on entertainment options for the week with a wee bit of politics thrown in. This was my first and best way of connecting with my new town because it helped me learn about cool events and great restaurants. Bonus: most of these free papers have a Best Of list that they compile every year.
Go to these places with your husband for dates. Explore the area as if you were tourists. I hosted dinner parties. My husband began to make friends at work and we discovered that a number of his co-workers were fairly new to the area, too, so we invited them over. I like to cook, so dinner parties at our place worked for us, but you can always meet at a restaurant instead. This worked out great for us because my husband and I had to make the effort together.
Now one of my very best friends is a woman who used to work with my husband. I joined some groups on MeetUp. Just find a group in your area that focuses on your interests or age group in my area there are lots of groups for women who want to make more girlfriends. Go to some events and start meeting people. Some of my closest friends in this area are people I met on MeetUp. I got up and started walking. I was inspired by the marathon runners in the Olympics. Eventually I lost 20 pounds.
With that healthier body, came a lot of confidence which made it even easier for me to make friends. Note that the majority of these steps all involve you taking some sort of initiative.
You cannot sit at home and hope that things will magically improve. But it is true. Multiple jobs in a short span of time and they were all awful, with awful customers who insulted everything about her? If she is in cosmetology or fashion sales or some other business that pushes chic, then she has to protray chic. It seemed uncomfortable, encumbering, hot, not my style. I wonder how much work experience LW had back at her small town and how happy she was working there.
I also wonder how happy she is going to be living with her parents again. Adaas July 1,am. I agree. I just wanted to escape being an adult, and go back to everything I knew before. Conversely, what can you do to bring out their best nature, how can you improve their day and therefore your own, how openminded can you force yourself to be, and how can you make it clear that you are not an object of derision while still remaining polite and lighthearted?
I usually ended up winning, not because I was the most attractive, but because I look people in the eye and I smile, even just passing someone on the sidewalk. See how many people you can talk to — or, as in my case, get them to talk to you — by lunchtime, by the end of the day, out at dinner, etc, and try to up the number every day.
I was sitting at a restaurant with some friends and some people at the table behind us were complaining about the city. Just railing on it. If the LW gives off that vibe, The Way I Live - Hateful Monday - Do You Have The Same But In Pants ?
(CD), people may not want to hang around that kind of negativity. I definitely agree, especially with your last point. Pretend the city is their house and be as polite about it as you otherwise would. You can even turn it into a talking point that lets people open up about themselves a bit.
Bitch, please. I told someone in a class this and immediately the people around me started giving me names of other places that had wifi but were cheaper and had better hours.
One girl told me she had plans to study there the next evening, and suddenly I had a coffee date with a new friend. If people love the place they live, they will bend over backward to help you love it, too, as long as you are open to the possibility. I love the Euro-trash feel of the place, but my God they are proud of their products.
I got sent to Cafe Artiste with a friend, and you could get a pot of tea or coffee with a free refill for that much. Sadly they closed down, but Agora got a tiny bit more realistic with their prices after the fire.
A lot of things in that area are overpriced though. I like Te House of Tea even if it has the dumbest name ever because they have a gigantic tea menu and a nice atmosphere. Agora had a fire? I lived in Houston from post-college through about age 26 30 now … am originally from North Texas.
Last Halloween, the antique shop next to it caught fire and burnt to nothing. The second story of Agora was pretty badly burned and they closed down for almost a year. GingerLaine June 29,am. And then I went to the University of Texas in Austin. Tee hee. I get it. You were used to living in the same town with your family for probably your entire life. A lot of people never leave their hometowns.
The more you drive, the easier it will be. MissDre June 27,pm. I agree with you. I suffer from chemical depression too, and anxiety. I have to be medicated probably for the rest of my life.
It makes things really hard sometimes and yeah, it can be hard to make the choice to be happy. But it is true… happiness IS a choice. My life changed so so much for the better when I made a conscious choice to be happy. You have to work at it every day.
I like how you said it. The Way I Live - Hateful Monday - Do You Have The Same But In Pants ? (CD) actions that lead to happiness…. But since negatives stick more easily in our heads, sometimes we gloss right over the good without meaning to.
Sometimes we just need to put in conscious effort to notice the good in our lives and appreciate it. A loving husband? Clothing and shelter? Delicious chocolate? I was once in an inconsolable crying fit, and this snapped me out in no time. Finally, please do try to be treated for depression. These are thinking patterns that are somewhat unconscious but make you view the world through a distorted lens, making life much tougher than it is already.
MissD June 27,pm. Great advice. Happiness is a verb, just like love. Choosing to focus on those things puts me in a great frame of mind to start the day. You may not be able to instantly change how you feel, but you can change your perspective and change how you are living to help those feelings improve. SGMcG June 27,pm. The fact that I also started birth control pills around the same time also shook my hormones and enhanced my depression. If you started any changes in your health, please consider that it may factor in how you feel now and get all the physical tests you can from your doctor to see what is wrong.
Rather than having the surrounding culture influence you, MAKE the culture you want to have. Create the love affair you can with your community in the context of growing the one you have with your husband. I have two cards for the surrounding two counties I live around and they are a godsend.
Not only do I get to borrow all the books and movies to entertain me for free! It also gives me a light non-committal schedule of events that I can potentially attend. Who knows? By going to your library regularly, maybe you WILL be able to meet like-minded people to make a part of your community. Your husband is a saint for putting up with you all this time on a day-to-day basis!
Exhausting right? You seem to be so in tune with all the negative aspects but have you thought about the positive? I was depressed, but I was not a victim of depression. And after time, that pride I felt for my decisions and my work ethic gave me self-confidence, and I did feel better.
LW, getting out there and living your life purposefully and with an open mind will not make you feel better right away, but it will help you stop feeling hopeless and therefore miserable because you will no longer feel helpless about your situation.
Stop focusing on how you feel, but instead focus on what you can do. No one can take charge of your life but you. Letting your depression and your negative feelings be in charge of your life will only harm you, and will seriously hurt your marriage.
You have been given a great opportunity to grow; get out there and make the most of it. And your husband will thank you. Frankly, I think her husband deserves better.
Having to deal with her cry amd complain all the time, the constant fighting and THEN hearing from her that she wants to move away from him for two years essentially giving up her marriage because she doeant like the location? Suck it up, lady. While I do agree that her husband must be having a hard time because of her attitude, this comment is completely unhelpful. Michele June 27,pm. When I moved after grad school for a job, I did not make many new friends for the first 3 years.
I met lots of new people, made some great friends, worked to better my community, and gained lots of experience with managing projects and people. When I moved again, to my current city, I immediately joined the local chapter and made a rule that for the first year, anytime an invitation was extended to me, I would say yes. But for the the most part, I had fun and met great people.
Sitting in your house complaining will get you nothing. And Wendy is right, happiness is a choice. Every chapter is different, and the organization might not be for you. My point really is to get out, find something you like, and throw yourself into it. Elle June 27,pm. I was, and still am, pretty lonely. Also, whenever I was invited anywhere, I would always go, even if I only knew one person at a party of I used to go walking in the park, sometimes run.
One evening, high on endorphines, I looked at the sky. For about 15 minutes. I still remember what the sky looked like. Stop and smell the roses, LW. The thing I envy you for is your husband hope you feel better that someone envies you :. I wish I had someone to go out with! In my old town, I was going to salsa nights. Another thing I used to do in the old town was play tennis. Again, something you and your husband can do together. And on top of it all, he has to cheer you up!
As I was reading the letter, it reminded me of my ex-husband. He was complaining all the time, about everything and everyone. I tried to lift his spirits, but it wore me out eventually.
I would tell him: is there something nice you can think of? Focus on something positive for once. Are you so selfish and self-absorbed that you are willing to leave your husband by himself in this new town, while you search for happiness somewhere else? So, LW, is there anything positive in your life? Focus on it for a while. Change your attitude. Tell them something back or make a joke. Jokes always help!
Demand to be treated with respect, and you WILL get it. Even if you lose a couple of clients in the process, it will be worth it. Another thing that lifts my mood is talk to my 2 BFFs. They live 10 hours away, and they both have twins. Talking to them, maybe half an hour every week or every other week does wonders for my mood. I get to hear the babies scream, I get updates on their weight and habits they pick up.
I also share stories of my life. You should do that too, LW. No one wants to talk to a negative person. This reminds me- I used to know a couple that always complained. Good luck! Really lovely advice, Elle. I love your advice to say yes to every invitation. The experiment worked and it became my life philosophy — more yes, less no. I hope the LW takes this opportunity to surprise herself as well, because it cracked my world open and made me so much braver.
Wonderful advice. I love the part about looking up at the night sky. When I first moved to my current town, I did this light hike by a river and stopped and starred at it for half an hour.
There are beautiful things everywhere you go, if you look for them. Her negative attitude may keep her from seeing the few things she might like in the city, but she is never going to love it there. She knows what she wants, and not everyone is meant to live everywhere. So here it is: you have to live for two years where you hate.
You need to stop indulging in this misery, because you do have you husband and a job and a life, and it sounds like you may need a powerful intervention to make this happen like therapy or medication. You need to find a way to make your life work in spite of where you live.
You just need to get used to it. Moving to one from a small rural community would understandably be a shock. But for a variation I love going to the city San Francisco to enjoy what if offers but the traffic does makes me shudder.
The LW is obviously depressed and might benefit from medication. When I was in the time of my darkest despair, a friend gave me a piece of paper with these words.
And I have to say they changed my life. As someone stated above, you need to make a conscious decision to choose actions that will lead to happiness. I made these promises to myself and they truly helped me get through the dark times. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds. To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you. MonMon June 29,pm. Miss Dre, I think everyone needs a copy of this hanging on their wall. Thank you for sharing this. Valerie June 27,pm. Basically, he opened an envelope and that told us where we were going to be spending the next four years, and we went.
I made the commitment to go with my fiance wherever he matched, because for me, home is wherever he is. There are two things I would suggest to the LW, in addition to all the other wonderful suggestions other posters have given:. Making it a point to be proactive and cross things off the list together has been really fun! Also, I would like to agree with Wendy that changing your location within the city might be good solution too.
After two years in our old place and getting to know the city better, my fiance and I moved to a new neighborhood in our city and it has been so much better for us. AWESOME food, new cuisines you have never had, a variety of different peoples and thoughts, theatre, music, politics, festivals, awesome stores, ect, ect, ect! Turtledove June 28,am. One of the things you have to get used to in the transition is that in a small town, life is usually much slower and since everyone largely knows everyone else at least in passing, small talk is considered polite.
In a larger city, the pace is just much faster. I had trouble with that, and especially with coming from the Bible Belt to New England— what I initially read as rudeness is really just expedience. So I try to run errands and make calls at times of day when people are less likely to be busy and they have more time for me.
It has worked brilliantly. Kate June 28,am. In small towns in New England, people definitely participate in small talk. Boston, not so much. Katie June 28,am. I feel like the only Jew in the state, all of my coworkers are married and older than me, and winter lasted until…two weeks ago. And forget about dating! My dad told me at one point to buck up, the one time I let on to him that I was struggling.
Look, if you hate where you live, you hate where you live. I really made an effort to befriend people from work.
After about 6 months, I was able to have at least one thing planned most weekends. I started exercising more. I got a dog. She is the best little sidekick I could ask for, and has really helped with the loneliness of living here.
Now is your time. I asked a coworker to start teaching me Spanish, and have been reading a ton, because I now have the time. Finally, remember how I said I felt like the only Jew in the state? I found a small community that meets about an hour away, with several families in the town where I live. I hope some of that is helpful. What really helped me this year was putting myself out there and taking risks.
I still cried every night for the first month I lived here, but it got better. It will for you, too. I live in Utah too, but I love it here. I moved a lot as a kid because my dad just kept volunteering to take a better job in another city. We moved every 4 years or so until my parents finally settled in Missouri.
It was really, really tough. It sucks to be uprooted, and I totally get that. After college, Quakerboy was offered an incredible position in NYC, but I really would have preferred to stay in our college town— a place we both loved and hope to move back to some day. He had a great chance to make a name for himself, The Way I Live - Hateful Monday - Do You Have The Same But In Pants ?
(CD) NYC was a perfect place for me to start my career, so we packed up our stuff and hauled it up to Manhattan and here we are. Sometimes, it sucks. It feels wrong to say it, but there are things I really dislike about this place. Sometimes it really makes me miserable. Try to dress a little more like everyone else.
Try to see where your co-workers hang out after work or on the weekends. Try to see where your neighbors go for fun, or to get cool groceries, or to rent a movie.
Or just try to see what your husband might want to check out in your new location— then go with him! Ask him to help you plan a fun weekend day in your new home. Hopefully that will at least get you two on track towards a healthier relationship, because honestly, you acting the way you are now is not good for your marriage. And having you threaten to leave him probably makes him feel even worse!
Try to put yourself in his shoes— how would you feel if he threatened to leave you all alone in a new city? You owe it to him to pick yourself up and make yourself happy. I agree x My husband got a job that brought me from the Bible Belt to New England less than a year ago and the transition has been very difficult.
But he feels absolutely terrible about it since he had other offers and it was ultimately his decision that brought us here. If I let it get to me too badly, I have no doubts that it would take my marriage down in a mess of guilt and resentment. I moved with my then husband and six month old baby to Las Vegas for a big promotion his on the condition that we would not raise our children there.
I hated Vegas, the heat, the smog, the fakeness, the emphasis on money and mostly naked women on billboards and TV. I made friends, got a job I liked, learned to make jams and jellies I was hanging with a lot of LDS wives and they are great at canning stuff! Mary June 28,am. I agree, Quakergirl. She did not truly understood the commitment of marriage and the reality of it has slapped her in the face.
She did not truly realize in her gut that marrying this man meant that their relationship now had to take presence over her parents, her friends, her hometown.
More than likely, the LW really DOES love her husband more than her old friends and her hometown and all those other things. Most people would be! LW, the number one step you need to take is accept that, as long as you wish to stay married, moving back home and living with your parents is not an option. You need to accept that you took a vow and you need to make an effort to stay true to those vows.
Secondly, you need to stop blaming and resenting your husband. But I think you need to take some ownership for your situation. Instead of fighting with one another over a choice you both made together, how about you try sympathizing with one another? Support one another. Realize that, amongst all this strange, new stuff, you still have the reassuring comfort of your love. Cling to it and nurture it instead.
Remember, too, that you two made this choice for a reason. There must be long-term benefits to this temporary move, right? Otherwise you two would not have chosen to take this opportunity.
Focus on those positive things. Take pride in the fact that he is taking steps to improve his career and your life together. You are making those sacrifices, too.
So rather than blaming one another, flip the coin and begin to support and appreciate one another. Thirdly, remember that this is not forever. Cling to what is good and true — your loving husband, your beautiful vows, and the hope for the future you felt in your heart when you decided to marry him. Good luck. Devanye November 12,pm. Kare June 28,am. LW, perspective is everything.
One of my friends got married less than a month ago, and moved 18 hours away from a small town to a big city. They are both trying to find jobs and figure out their lives in an unfamiliar place. They are currently waiting for an estimate from their insurance and placing buckets under everything to catch rainwater. And you know what, she is still happy and optimistic! Try to be happy and enjoy being a newlywed!
There is nothing wrong with cities, they are just wrong for her! The good people mention about cities will be outweighed by the bad in her eyes. Thats what got me through, and I was pretty happy despite the circumstances.
I wonder if the LW had to move from a big city to a small town — would people commenting be more sympathetic? Fairhaired Child June 28,am.
SpaceySteph June 28,am. I would be more sympathetic, of course. Big cities and their suburbs have a lot more to offer. You can live in a tiny, safe neighborhood The Way I Live - Hateful Monday - Do You Have The Same But In Pants ?
(CD) of a big city and have a lot of the feel of a small town, but with social opportunities beyond going to church. Sad for an atheist! Blitzen June 28,am. You may be miserable, but so The Way I Live - Hateful Monday - Do You Have The Same But In Pants ? (CD) a lot of other people, and almost everyone can tell when someone is miserable and they usualy dont do a thing about it.
But if they see someone smile, then you know what. I moved from a small town to Baltimore, MD. Which to me was a little overwhelming. I cried a lot too when I first moved, I moved for my job and for my boyfriend and while we were apartment hunting I was having an aweful time and seperation issues from my friends, family and my support system and having to rely on him.
Every now and then I still get a little homesick and sad and I pretty much call my mom at least 2x a week to catch up and just to feel supported. To feel like I finally fit in. I once had someone say bless you to me when I sneezed at a stop light, and it made my whole week I was so happy.
She had to wear a burqa. My boyfriends mom lived in India for 3 years to be with his dad. Chaotonic June 28,am. I could never ever imagine how tough it would be to live in a country such as Saudi Arabia, I traveled to Bahrain and Oman and it really tough following all the liberty rules we had as females.
Saudi Arabia is like another universe compared to those. She wore a burqa. I hate the city I live in too… but I at least I get to wear tank tops. My mom actually found a lot to love about living there. But yea the LW is pretty spoiled thinking people are treating her badly just bc she has a different accent and different clothes. And everyone gets down and starts praying. Katie June 28,pm.
Dave Jay June 28,am. LTC June 28,am. AKchic June 28,pm. There is a lot going on here. I moved across country once. From AK to NJ. I was miserable. The heat, he overcrowded and rude surroundings, the accents, the fashions — I felt so out of place.
Not knowing anyone made it even worse. Started meeting up with a few pagans in the area. If you go back to your parents, you will be driving him away and probably into a new set of arms who can handle the big city.
Once you make a few friends and start relaxing, you will be able to feel better about being in the city, and it will make your husband feel better, which will help make you feel even better. Homesick, I understand where you are coming from.
I grew up in a small town as well, and now live by choice! This is great because you can walk around without the small town gossip and the forced conversations with every person on the darn block.
I can see plays every weekend if I want to! I can eat all kinds of different foods! Start checking out groupons and living social deals for the large city near you. You just have to! WHY is everyone being so incredibly harsh to this woman?? Including Wendy? Maybe everyone else should take a good look in the mirror and ask themselves why they want to would rip apart a young woman who has expressed that she is DEEPLY unhappy and asking for advice.
There is a real person behind that letter. And she is reading your comments. And she feels alone and unhappy and probably scared.
If you do not want to renew your CD with the same term, your options include transferring your Online CD balance to an existing HSBC account, opening a new one, or requesting a change in the term of your current CD, as long as the instructions are received by the maturity date or within the grace period. Dead Or Alive - That's The Way (I Like It) (Official Video) Listen on Spotify - sioprovcabradeperfscormarcodenmenssol.co Listen on Apple Music - http://smartur. Mar 05, · What you think you can do is always--always--less than what you can do if you really, really try. You always have a little more in you. Find your true limits and you may find that success is.
Aug 13, · I SAW YOU Sky's the limit: Sky.I know you always trip on me about s*** that's happened in the past but I just want you to know that I love you and I'm trying to .
(Do you keep your pants in a dresser or do you hang them up?) [Mime "hang up" using an X-hand as the "hanger" and an index-finger as the "bar."] YOUR BEDROOM HAVE WINDOW? (Is there a window in your bedroom?) YOUR HOUSE, HOW-MANY BATHROOM? (How many bathrooms are there in your house?) Practice Sheet: A CAT LIKE EAT BIRD? The answer tells you how many times you have to compound that gain to double your money. If you get three 24% gains — and re-invest your profits each time — you will nearly double your money.
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I you won the lottery and the prize was million cash you would Screw all of you I won it fair n square! Share a little wwith close friends and family. But keep track of who you gave some too. Donate a large chunk to charities, the needy and church. Give it all away! Love is all I need! You have created a "hit list" and intend to use it. Oct 14, · I hate this world, but love my life. Yes, it's a very simple statement. Pretty easy to comprehend, right? I hate this world because when I wake up in the morning and read the news, I .
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